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My friend Isabel (the owner of GrapeHeart Vineyards) tells me her thoughts on life’s struggles.  Being Turkish and a little bit Christian and a little bit superstitious, her calmness makes me believe her.  Some people just struggle more than others.  Putting aside drugs, alcohol etc, it’s just a fact.  Who knows the reason, she says.  You either get stronger and more creative or let go of your power.

She speaks of her husband’s challenges and her oldest child who has struggles at the young age of 10.  We’re not born as a blank slate.  We bring some things with us.

Me?  I brought some things.  All budding and jumping at the leash to perform.  My family added in their twisted perspective (hey, some of us get the honor of being born into a truly crazy family), the world in general added in the spices and stirred.

2014 is my year to reconnect with the original stuff I came to the world with, in it’s innocent state.  What was I meant to do?  Who was I meant to be?  Can I recapture a view into the innocence?  I’m going to give it a try.  There was some magic back there–waaaay back there.  So there has to be some left inside of me.  Tapping into that has to be good.  Right?

I’ve opened up and asked the Universe for help.  Whether you call it God, Buddha, the Divine…it all comes from the same Source.  While I’m not one to go all super spiritual on you or anyone else, I have to assess the heart attack and how it’s turned me around.  Woke me up.  Pulled me right from the path leading into the dark side.  Define darkness how you will.

This morning I read my note from TUT.  The Universe.  Some days I take enormous delight in reading them.  Once in awhile I actually tear up.  And there are days that I am so grateful for a reminder to get out of my head, my past traumas, my past pain.

Today pushed me to reconnect with that innocent self.

Challenges and issues and problems. 

Lions and tigers and bears. 

miller, they’re just me! Showing up when you’ve somehow forgotten how unbelievably, fantastically powerful you really are. 

Because, of course, you will prevail. 

Oh my!
    The Universe