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This morning I emailed a response (suggested by my attorney) to my housemates refusing their demand of moving out in 3 days.  The attorney had interesting things to say: the format they picked requires the 3 days to begin AFTER receiving the notice, rather than day of receipt, the document that they clearly picked from the web is a last ditch effort for a landlord to move out a tenant who is destroying property (holes in walls, urinating on carpets, pulling out fixtures), and that since I used Natures Miracle on the 7 spots Franky marked AND checked with a urine black light, I’m in the clear legally.  He told me to send a note stating these things.

That’s great to know, but crazy doesn’t mean legal.  Which is a lot to deal with when my stress is already so high.  I sent the note via email this morning.  Shit storm.  My friend Tammy used this term and now I understand what it means.  Yelling screaming threatening.  My stuff will be tossed on the lawn.  The locks will be changed.  I’ve fucked with the wrong people.

Really?  Is this what day 12 in California has to look like?  Really?

So I called an old friend who lives in Dublin to see if I could drive down for a visit.  Just needed space and away from things.  It was great to see Carmen.  Going to meet her kids for dinner in an hour.  Calm.  Cool.  Collected.

While sitting outside in the 63 degree weather (sorry Southeast peeps) at Starbucks, friends were checking in to make sure my head hadn’t blown off my shoulders.  Mara Kahn, the best realtor in Sonoma region called with a lead in Glen Ellen, CA.  I scoured Craigslist.  Sent emails.  I got a text from one of the house mates asking for my attorney’s contact information.  Who does that?  Was she expecting to call and have a chat with him?  Probably not.  But another passive aggressive ploy to bully me…and see if I really have an attorney.

I responded with a no, but that if we go to court over this her attorney will most likely have his contact information at that point.  Did I mention that I’m really stressed?

And then decided to find a cheap motel to stay.  I got what I paid for.

The Extended Stay in Dublin is a pit.  And some one upstairs must way around a ton.  Stomping so loudly it woke the dogs up from a nap.  It might be a long night. I have images of a geeky guy who works here, stays long term in this motel and has no idea that he’s so disruptive.  You may know that kind of geek.  I’ve worked with lots of them.  Focused and clear about their best skill.  Not people, however.

Anyway, that’s my day.  The sun is shining, I’m getting to see an old friend, and develop a little angina.  But I’d be remiss if I didn’t give you this great recipe.

fig newton clones




Wheat-Free Kid Friendly Vegan


  • 25 dried figs
  • 2 T. neutral oil, I used grape seed
  • 2 T. applesauce
  • 1/4 c. maple syrup
  • 6 T. coconut milk
  • 1 c. oats (ground into flour)
  • 1/4 c. raw buckwheat groats (ground into flour)
  • 1/2 c. brown rice flour
  • 1/4 c. chia seeds (ground into flour)
  • 1 t. baking powder
  • 1/2 t. salt
  • 1 t. vanilla
  • 15 drops liquid stevia, divided


  1. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.
  2. In a saucepan, cover figs with water (just enough that they are still poking out the top of the water). Bring to a boil, shut the heat off, but let pan remain on the stove. Let the pan sit on the burner for about 15 minutes, until cooled a bit. While the figs cool, begin mixing the dough. Mix the dry ingredients (oat flour, buckwheat flour, brown rice flour, chia flour, baking soda, and salt), in one bowl. The chia seeds act as a binder in the dough, but if you prefer flax seeds, they will work as well! Mix the wet ingredients in a separate bowl (oil, applesauce, maple syrup, coconut milk, vanilla, and 8 drops of stevia). Mix all the dough ingredients together (it will be very thick…you will be thinking, ‘wow, I need more milk’, but this is not the case).
  3. Oil an 8 x 8 baking dish. Press half of the dough mixture into the bottom of the dish (you will need to use your hands). Add 7 drops of stevia to the fig mix, stir, and spread atop the bottom dough layer. Finally, dollop the remaining dough onto the fig layer, and, using your hands, carefully spread it out to cover the figs.
  4. Bake for 18-20 minutes, depending on your oven heat, until it starts browning around the perimeter and a toothpick comes out clean.
  5.  For the best taste, I would suggest letting them cool completely before cutting. They will then be the most reminiscent of the soft cookie bars you remember from days past.