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Learning how to cook for my heart and not be bored or unsatisfied continues to challenge me to my core.  Last night I was reading Esstelyn’s book on arresting heart disease.  His words scared the bejesus out of me. ‘We must erase the phrase “This little bit can’t hurt” from our vocabulary and thinking.  As we have learned, the opposite is true: every little bit CAN hurt–and it does”.

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That scares the crap out of me.  I’ve fallen off the wagon a little bit, and of course my supportive friends say “it can’t hurt”.  The reality for me truly is that I have an ax over my head from one artery that is 80% full.  I suppose I’ve gotten a little to flexible for my diet–even though a normal and healthy person could get away with it. Because I can’t see what’s really happening in the artery, or understand the growth of the plaque, it makes it difficult for me to stay focused on this incredibly strict diet.

I don’t want another heart attack.  And I don’t want what comes with statins and other drugs.  I have seen a friend struggle with the pain in her muscles, feelings of electricity running through her arms and legs, and fatigue.  So, starting today…for the second time…I am cleaning out.

My holiday treats for tomorrow are already made and I overdosed on them, so I’m good.  Dark chocolate peanut butter fudge is what my contribution is for desert.  Granted there’s no refined sugar or other elements with preservatives etc.  But the fat content is high with the peanut butter and coconut oil.

Sigh.

No need to wait until the New Year.  I’m resolving to tighten up, clean up, and straighten my ass out with healthy food, no sugar at all and limited fats.  Even healthy fats need to be used sparingly.

Merry fucking Christmas.  ;>)

Let me add, that I am incredibly thankful for the chance to live without medications.  I need to show my gratitude with more soberness.

Wishing you the happiest Christian holiday from a renewed Jewish vegan, sugar-free, gluten free eater.

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