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1379618_10151898604383685_1488525473_nAfter the panic of the heart attack, I was willing to do anything to protect my heart and life.  When my Doc gave me an extremely limited diet to live by I went in with guns ablazing!  As the day pass by since the drama, and I don’t feel pain even though I have an artery is 80% full, I struggle with the diet.

I’m a cheater.  I cheat on this diet.  And I feel badly, not guilty, but more disappointed.  It might not seem much to you or other readers, however I know that I’ve wandered off the clean food path and I only hurt myself.

And I’ve been judgmental about how other people eat.  Fried foods, fast food, soda pop by the gallons, far too much refined food and sugars.  I cheat in different ways: more than a few almonds multiple times a day which can raise my insulin.  I eat fruit that is too sugary.  Only twice, but it was done.  Chicken wings from Whole Foods…oh good god.  There’s something about those smoked chicken wings that are like an addiction.  And I have to confess that I ate dark chocolate chips with sugar.  They were organic.  But sugar is SO wrong for me.  Oh, and the cashews.  I ate them like some people eat potato chips.

Granted that this food is generally ok for most people.  But I’m over doing the fats (even though they are healthy) and producing sugar which is hard for my liver, which really is at the core of heart disease.

Why are these things an issue?  I chose to take care of my heart disease by food and not medication.  That means sticking to the tight diet to help my body instead of causing it to fight with itself, reduce inflammation, and allow healing to take place.

Maybe it’s the stress of not having rent money, or the holiday far from friends, or the anxiety about how I can make the move from Nashville to Napa Valley in 3 weeks.  Ugh.

Life is bumpy.  All I can say is that I’m trying.

How about you?  Life a little bumpy?  Can you say you’re doing your best?