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I thought I knew what I was doing.  Not eating meat, no fried foods, drinking water, not smoking, working out.  Ok, I had stressful times at Microsoft.  Being a 9/11 survivor has made life challenging.  Not having a supportive family and being a bit of a loner has perhaps had negative effects.

But honestly, I’m reading a ton of information and they ALL freak me out.  I feel like I’ll have to be eating all day to live this life of “Food as Medicine.  I’m not a big eater.  And I certainly don’t cook much any longer.  I enjoyed it when I was younger, had a kitchen I enjoyed and people to share with.  Now it’s survival only.

One cardiologist says no fruit.  Another says a spoonful of olive oil before bed and a clove of garlic a day.  Two of them have a cleanse.  They both cost more than my rent for the month.

Really.  Does that mean I am destined to be stuck with the cardiologist who yelled at me and sent me home with a list of drugs and no idea of what to do?

Apparently there’s no consistent pattern among doctors.  I joined a great online group on Facebook.  Everyone is under 55ish.  Some folks lived unhealthy lives.  Other were surprised by their  heart attacks.  I seem to be the only one that was just sent home clueless.  Or at least I’m the vocal one–no surprise there.

What is difficult for me is with all of the information I’m taking in, how would I know which would work for me?

A friend of mine today said “we’re all gonna die someday anyway”.  I’m not afraid of dying.  I’m afraid of being one of those people in a wheel chair pulling myself around with one leg, or stuck in a hospital for indigent people that smells of pee and feces.

In spite of that…I wish for, and dream of a cardiologist to partner with to take my health to the next level.  Is there anyone out there?