The ambulance stops. The doors fly open. More guys. Really?
They jog me through the hospital doors and I see a team of 12 year old’s waiting for me. I was pretty sure that I was being punked. They were all staring at me like puppy dogs looking through the glass in a shop…just waiting to be released. It really had begun to surreal.
As with most 12 year old’s, they were all talking at once, talking over each other and I didn’t know who to answer first. Then a young woman whipped off my puma’s shorts and top and came at me with a razor.
Yes, a razor. Keep in mind there are still around 8 people working in the area, I’m now naked, a guy to the left trying furiously to get a tap stuck into the back of my left hand. A guy drawing blood from my right arm. Something stuck in my left arm. Pain from the guy in my left hand. Someone yelling from the desk for personal information. Another one asking me how I’m feeling. “pretty vulnerable right now”.
I told her I was hoping for a wax and landing strip, not full shave. I thought it was funny, and one girl chuckled.
My anxiety was rising since no one was talking to me about what was going on. They were all efficient, as best as I could tell. But it would have been great to have a grown-up there like on TV saying something like “Ms. Canning, you’ve had a heart attack and we’re preparing you for a stent. It will open up the coronary artery and It will go in through your femoral artery, that’s why you’re butt naked and shaved down in front of all these 12 year old’s.”
Having a grown up in the room is seriously under rated.